By
brother initiate Li, Mainland China (Originally in English)
According
to the ideals of Confucianism, the pursuit of spiritual practice is
meant to first perfect the individual, then one's family, one's country
and finally the world. Buddhism also emphasizes benefiting and enlightening
other living creatures. Family members are beings who have developed
strong affinities among each other in previous lives. Thus, the family
is a natural medium through which to expand one's spiritual practice.
The
love created among family members who have spiritual understanding
and the goal of enlightenment is not bondage. Instead, this kind of
love can help one to break one's narrow mentality of selfishness.
I always think that the family is a door through which to expand one's
love beyond oneself, and work is a door to expand one's wisdom beyond
one's comfort zone. Love and wisdom are the main targets of spiritual
practice.
I
am very lucky in this regard, for my wife is extremely intelligent
and successful in her studies and career, and is also a very devoted
companion. I have learned the meaning of unconditional love from her,
and she has helped me to break through my shell of selfishness.
She
was an atheist when we first dated each other about 12 years ago,
when we were in college and I was practicing bhakti yoga (devotional
yoga involving chanting and prayer). A few years later I began to
follow Supreme Master Ching Hai and practice the Quan Yin Method.
During these years, I tried to spiritualize my life without undue
formality, so as not to appear weird in my wife's eyes. It took my
wife seven years to become a vegetarian and practitioner. Eventually,
she was initiated in 1997.
Since
we have become fellow initiates, nothing dramatic has happened between
us. We love each other in the same way as before and still quarrel
with each other from time to time. But more wisdom has silently spread
into our relationship, and occasionally, inspiring discussions related
to Master, life, dreams, etc. occur between us. Nowadays, family love
has become an inspiration for us both in seeking enlightenment.
At
this point in my life, I have come to realize that, if I really care
for my wife, I have to seek more wisdom and love. If I fail to gain
wisdom, I may lead her astray, to a desolate life. If I fail to gain
love, I may hurt her because of my imperfect personality. So my experience
with my family is very positive with respect to my spiritual practice,
and vice versa.
To
conclude, Confucius said that a gentleman is different than others
but is harmonious with them, while a mean person is the same as others
but is in conflict with them. One should harmonize with others whether
or not they pursue spiritual practice or vegetarianism. Do not force
others to accept Master at once, and treat them with love and wisdom,
then patiently wait until their time is due; that is the best way
to guide them toward accepting Master and attaining eternal liberation.
Related article: Pearls
of Wisdom
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