Master Tells Jokes
Spoken
by Supreme Master Ching Hai, Jhongli, Formosa, February 25,
1989
(Originally in Chinese) Videotape # 49
A man committed a crime and was arrested
by the county magistrate. He was sentenced to be flogged a hundred
times and was terrified. Fortunately, he was rich so that he
was able to bribe the magistrate and pay someone to take the
punishment in his stead, offering a hundred taels of silver
to a poor man to stand in for him. Tempted by the money, the
poor man agreed so the magistrate released the rich man.
After thirty lashes, the poor man couldn't
withstand the pain any longer and used the money he had received
to bribe the magistrate to let him go. Upon his release, the
poor man went to offer his thanks to the rich man who was supposed
to have been punished. "I'm very grateful to you. Had it
not been for the money that you gave me, I would have been beaten
to death!"
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Spoken
by Supreme Master Ching Hai at the Three-dayInternational
Retreat Phnom Penh, Cambodia, March 28, 1996 (Originally in Chinese)
Videotape # 541
There once was a very rich man
who was illiterate, and one day another rich man sent a messenger with
a letter for him. Too embarrassed to reveal that he couldn't read, he
asked the messenger to return to his master and said that he would be
over to his master's place in a while. But actually, he wanted to find
someone to read the letter to him.
"There's no need for that!
We only want to borrow your horse, not you. So you don't need to come
over later," the messenger responded.
Spoken
by Supreme Master Ching Hai at the Three-day International Retreat,
Phnom Penh, Cambodia, March 28, 1996 (Originally in Chinese)
Videotape #541
When a very miserly man nicknamed the
"stingy ghost" died and went to hell, the Yama King
reproached him, saying, "You stingy ghost! When you were
alive, you clung hard to everything and wouldn't give to anyone.
Even when you saw others in poverty and misery, you refused
to offer them help. Also, you didn't take good care of your
parents, relatives or friends and let them suffer and starve.
For your evil karma, you'll be dumped into a pot of boiling
oil."
The ghost wardens then escorted the man
to the pot of boiling oil, and when they arrived, he looked
at the pot and said, "Hey! Wait a minute! There's so much
oil in it. What a waste! Please drain out the oil, sell it and
give me the money. Then, you can simply dump me in a pot of
boiling water! There's no need for oil. You're using too much oil
to cook one person anyway!"
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