Master
Tells Jokes
100K:
Indonesian,
French,
German,
Portuguese,
Japanese
,
Spanish subtitle
56K:
Indonesian,
French,
German,
Portuguese,
Japanese
,
Spanish subtitle
A
couple of hunters chartered a small plane to fly them to a forest, and
made an appointment with the pilot to come back and fetch them in about
two weeks. At the end of the two weeks, they had shot a lot of animals
that they wanted to load onto the plane. But the pilot said, "This
plane won't be able to take more than one wild buffalo. You'll have
to leave the others behind." Then the hunters protested, saying,
"But last year, another pilot with the same airplane let us take
two buffalos and some other animals in the plane as well."
So the new pilot thought about
it. He was a little bit skeptical, but finally he said, "OK, since
you did it last year, I guess this year we can do it again." Then
he loaded the two buffalos and a few other animals in, and the plane
took off. Five minutes later, it crashed in a neighboring area.
The three men climbed out and
looked around, and one hunter said to the other, "Where do you
think we are now?" The second one surveyed the area and said, "I
think we're about one mile to the left of the place we crashed last
year."
Master's
Comments
They did the same thing and
got the same result. So don't ever try that! Don't try to do the same
thing, thinking that the result will be different because you're in
a different year. The same action yields the same result. There's no
problem understanding that. What's happened before will happen again.
The problem isn't that the
Master won't tolerate you or won't let you do what you want; it's that
the results will be the same. The same is true for the Five Precepts,
vegetarianism or meditation. You can do what you want with your life:
You can eat what you prefer, and you can meditate or not meditate. But
the result will be exactly what we would expect: What comes back is
the same as what we put in. There's no escape from that.
100K:
Indonesian,
French,
German,
Portuguese,
Japanese
,
Spanish subtitle
56K:
Indonesian,
French,
German,
Portuguese,
Japanese
,
Spanish subtitle
There
was once a very poor person who was also very stingy. But his manner
of praying to God must be one of the most famous, even more so than
the Bible's "Give us this day our daily bread." (Matthew
6:11)
So the old miser was heard saying his prayers
like this: "Oh, my God, my Lord! My Almighty! If the Almighty -
may Your holy name be blessed forever - if You gave me a hundred thousand
dollars, I would immediately give ten thousand to the poor. I promise
I would! You know that, don't You? And if the Almighty — may Hes
be blessed — does not trust me about my promise, then please deduct
the ten thousand in advance and only give me ninety thousand."
Please
visit the following websites to enjoy the original video versions of
these jokes, and you may share the joy of Master’s humor with
those around you:
http://www.godsdirectcontact.org.tw/eng/news/153/jk1.htm
(Formosa)
http://www.godsdirectcontact.net/eng/news/153/jk1.htm
(USA)
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