While on the Path
During the first six months, practicing the Quan Yin Method was extremely difficult, but I persisted. No matter what happened, I felt I had to meditate and could not go back to my old life.
Before I was initiated in September 2002 at the age of twenty-five, my life felt meaningless and I showed a great deal of pride, anger, jealousy and possessiveness in my relationships. For nearly thirteen years, one of my biggest problems was a chaotic, self-destructive romantic life, which seemed impossible to overcome. I tried continually without success to conquer it, suffering from substance abuse, harmful acquaintances, stress, resentment, anxiety and depression. In addition, my ongoing physical problems, which had no medical explanation, made me want to commit suicide. Feelings of impurity, inexplicable loneliness and physical and mental rigidity ruled my life.
But from the day of my initiation, everything changed. It was incredible. My frenzied sexual life, which had nearly destroyed me, was no longer a problem. My physical ailments also disappeared. And although I still experience anger and anxiety now and again, these feelings no longer dominate my life.
Before being initiated, I was unable to do Convenient Method meditation for even five minutes. But now, I can meditate for two and a half hours a day. During the first six months, practicing the Quan Yin Method was extremely difficult, but I persisted. No matter what happened, I felt I had to meditate and could not go back to my old life. In order to gain the power to advance further I regularly watched Master’s videos and read Her books and magazines. Then, little by little, my life began to change.
Although I feel my meditation practice still needs improvement, I know that I am at the door to entering samadhi. As hard as this first year has been, the changes in my life have been truly incredible. My family and friends are all surprised at my transformation and sometimes cannot believe it! Now I have the desire to live, to become a loving, compassionate, humble, wise and pure human being so that I can surrender to God and be of service to humanity.
Over time, I have come to realize that it was not my initiation per se but the awakening of my real Self that changed me! After initiation, this Self, which is beyond good and evil, exists forever and is always pure, has gradually re-emerged.
My ignorance is also diminishing, but remains vast. I still need to purify myself each day in thought, word and deed and to meditate more. Thus I can center myself completely in God and Hiers Will, further polish my loving nature and continue to gain enlightenment.
Thank You, Master!
