Master Tells Jokes


Spoken by Supreme Master Ching Hai, Florida, USA,
December 28, 2001 (Originally in English)

 

Real Audio with English, French, Aulacese, Spanish subtitle

A grandmother, dearly beloved by her family, passed away. And her granddaughter missed her so much that she desperately wanted to contact the soul of the deceased. So she went to a psychic, the kind who can see in a dark room, and said that she wanted to contact the soul of her grandmother. Sure enough, after much wagging, winking, shaking and choking from the psychic, there came a very hoarse voice that said, "Hello. Hello, Jenny."

"Who's that?" said the granddaughter, and the voice said, "I'm your Grandma." And then Jenny asked, "Is that really you, Grandma?" and the voice replied, "Yes, it's me, Jenny. I'm your Grandma." But Jenny still wasn't sure so she asked again, "Is that you, really you, Grandma?" And the voice still said, "It is I, your grandmother. Yes, it's me." So Jenny said, "Well, there's only one question I want to ask you." And the grandmother replied, "Yes, go ahead." So the granddaughter said, "Grandmother, since when did you learn to speak English?"



Spoken by Supreme Master Ching Hai, Florida, USA,
June 13, 28, 2001, (Originally in English)

Real Audio with English, French, Aulacese, Spanish subtitle


There was a man who took a couple of friends to his apartment to show them around, and one of the friends asked, "What's that big metal basin for?" So the man replied, "Oh, that's a talking clock." And the other friend said, "Huh? How come? There's no clock there! It's just a basin. What do you mean by calling it a 'talking clock'?" Then the man said, "Watch." And he took out a big hammer, and banged on the basin: "BANG!" It was very, very loud. And suddenly a voice came through the wall of the next apartment, saying, "Cut it out! It's 2:00 in the morning!"



Spoken by Supreme Master Ching Hai, Florida, USA, December 28, 2001,
(Originally in English)

Real Audio with English, French, Aulacese, Spanish subtitle


A friend came to visit another friend. And the friend he came to see had a boy who was about five years old. The visiting friend asked the boy, "What would you like to do when you grow up?" And the boy said he would like to be a garbage collector. So the visiting friend said to the boy's father, "That's a rather strange ambition. Why does he want to be a garbage collector?" And the father replied, "Well, that's because he thinks garbage men only work on Tuesdays." He thought they came only once a week to collect the garbage!