Fire Tempers Gold - A Little Sister's Spiritual Journey

Narrated by sister Songsong, Tago, West Africa
Recorded by a Quan Yin messenger

When I was little, my parents sent me to live with my relatives and grandparents because of work, so I had a lonely and unsettled childhood. By the time my parents sent for me to live with them abroad, I had already developed an unstable temperament. I was self-centered and seldom thought about other people's feelings. I did not know how to take care of others and often locked myself in my room. It was very hard for me to get along with other people, to appreciate or understand the environment around me.

However, after my mother was initiated, I felt myself change through the great blessing power of Master and loving concern of fellow initiates. I opened my heart to the outside world, found hope in my life, and eagerly asked fellow initiates many questions about Master and spiritual practice. The concept of spiritual cultivation began to grow deep inside me. But my father did not understand, and objected to my contact with fellow initiates. Once, in anger, he ruined a photo of Master. I felt so badly about my father's actions that I knelt down alone in my room to repent to Master for his ignorance. My tears fell before I became aware of them, but I felt calmness and peace that I had never experienced before. I had never meditated before, nor had I ever wanted to. But that time I naturally crossed my legs to meditate. Master seemed to be reminding me to practice spiritually, and I was both surprised and exalted!

From that day on, I would experience diarrhea or lose my temper when I ate non-vegetarian food. In May of 2000, when mother returned from the retreat in Korea, the whole family was charged with intangible blessings and I made up my mind to adopt a full vegetarian diet. But before father agreed to my initiation, I had to practice the Convenient Method first. Maybe it was God's test for me! The difficulties brought about by my father were just stimulants for my growth.
Father's work often took him away from home. But he came back frequently to see us, which created strong tensions and even disputes, especially over my vegetarian diet and spiritual practice.

As time went by, my longing for spiritual practice grew stronger. I knew I would not be able to receive initiation if I could not maintain a vegetarian diet, and refused the meat that father tried to force me to eat. Immediately, a family dispute broke out. I was afraid to go to the dinner table but I persisted with my vegetarian diet no matter how much father tried to force me away from it. I explained to him that we should put ourselves in the shoes of those animals that were about to be slaughtered. How could we do such a cruel thing to them? Although father wanted to change my mind because of his love for me, I was determined, and prayed to Master whenever I could for a smooth journey to initiation. Thus, I managed to pull through one hardship after another.

Finally, father lost his patience and slapped me twice in the face. But I felt neither hatred nor fear. On the contrary, I became even more determined to fight for my noble cause. I understood that external violence or pressure might cause physical pain, but it could not shake my calm determination. These slaps from my father caused me much pain, but they could not compare to the suffering of animals before they are slaughtered. Father didn't understand me, nor did I understand him. I sincerely hoped that the situation would soon improve through my diligent spiritual practice. After all these struggles, I finally overcame my cowardly and cloistered self, and became brave enough to express and realize my inner longings. The blissful experience was beyond words! Whenever I pass this kind of test, I look at Master's photos in my room and feel that She is smiling more and more happily and beautifully. Master, I will continue to progress!

At last, I received the initiation that I had been longing for. Due to Master's immeasurable love, I became very excited and felt like the happiest person in the world. Before initiation, I had prepared a photo for my I.D. card, but was not satisfied with it. After the initiation session, I asked the Quan Yin messenger to hold on for a while so that I could take another picture. But the result still did not quite meet my standards. Nevertheless, the initiates in attendance said that it was beautiful. They compared it with the photo taken before my initiation and I found that I really looked quite different! Then, they laughed and said, "Master has performed surgery on you, both inside and outside, and has made you a totally different person!"

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